150 Things Not Allowed at Hogwarts
by Jeshickah Knight
Summary: Izy and Ian are worse than Fred and George...they had a list of things they weren't allowed to do at Hogwarts. This is their list, and the story behind each thing on the list.
1. An Introduction to Ian and Izy

**An Introduction**

Okay, so there were these two kids…. No, no, we can't start like that, it just wouldn't work. Let's start over.

Once at Hogwarts there were two students, who weren't really students, that got on every one of the professors' nerves and whom was all around hated by the staff of the school. A brother and sister team that was practically known as 'the two that rival the Weasley twins' and nothing else. Very few knew their real names, and the ones that did only found out through the professors or other staff members who would scream their names through the corridor whenever they did something wrong.

Ian and Izadora Jacobs were the crazy two. Ian was eighteen, and should have been in seventh year if he was in fact a real student. Izy was seventeen and a should-be seventh year as well, but again, not being a student did have its drawbacks.

So Ian and Izy were eventually left at a point where their shenanigans had reached a point that they were told they had to make a list of everything they weren't allowed to do at Hogwarts. Every time they stepped out of line and got into trouble, they had to add a new thing to the list.

At the time they reached one hundred and fifty, they were officially kicked out and banned forever from the Hogwarts grounds. The students missed them and mourned the lost of their between-class entertainment. The professors rejoiced and were celebrating the loss of trouble.

The Weasley twins did what they could, and in their defense, they were the best pranksters at the school, they were also students. But what the twins did was much more childish… well actually, less childish than what the Jacobs duo ever did.

So as record of their short stint at the school, they wrote down every thing that happened the particular days they got into trouble and had to add something to the list. It's quite amusing, if we do say so ourselves, we are quite daring…

WAIT! Did we just say _**we**_? No, no, no,_ we_ aren't Izy and Ian, of course not! Why in the world would you ever think that!

… … …)()( … … …

_I got this list from one of the guys in one of my cults on VF, I thought it was hilarious and it just inspired me for this. It's been a while since I wrote anything Potter-related so I chose to start this. It took me a while to figure out which of the two would be doing which one…they both got some good ones, and well, you have to know, these two are very much alike, they think and act more or less the same. I love them…they're so great!_

_Anyway, have fun reading, it's a bit crazy, and one thing you should know is that Ian and Izy aren't in any of the houses…that fact leads into one of the things and also, they make fun of every house…it's great, I hope you like this!_


	2. Izy and the Puff Bees

_1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are 'covered in bees'._

… … … )()( … … … 

"Hey, Ian…" Izy trailed off, watching a group of Hufflepuffs walk by; it was a group of girls and they were giggling.

"Yeah?" Ian looked down at his sister, being that he was just a few inches taller it wasn't much of difference. "What's the new?"

She chuckled, looking down at the floor. The thoughts in her head were getting funnier and funnier. "Have you even noticed the colors of the Puffs?"

"Yellow and black? What of it?" he tried to find the joke.

"They look like they're covered in bees," she giggled, the girls had passed and they were no longer in view. "It's crazy!"

"I've never noticed that," he grinned. "You're more girlie than I thought, Izy, noticing colors like that."

"Oh, I'm capable of being girlie, why wouldn't I be?" she laughed.

… … … … )()( … … …

At dinner that evening, Ian and Izy decided they wanted to sit with what they were now calling 'the House of Bees'. Both of them were very careful not to use their spoons, but they always kept them in their hands. Occasionally someone would notice another Hufflepuff fly up in the air like they had been prodded with something, some would scream.

"Stop it! Honestly, Izy!" one girl screamed and scooted further away from the dark-haired girl who was looking at her completely innocently.

"Me? What am I doing wrong? I'm just eating." Izy said, taking a bite as if to prove it. "You're not being very nice."

"You poked me with a spoon!" the girl cried.

"But I can't even reach you," Izy replied, poking the boy sitting next to her. He jumped and rubbed his side; another boy across the table squeaked and turned red. "I can reach him, and I can reach him, but I can't reach you."

"But I saw you do it!" the girl continued. "You can't tell me you didn't."

"But I didn't do it!" Izy insisted innocently. "Jeez, you Bees aren't as nice as they all said you were."

"Bees?" a few of the Hufflepuffs muttered confused.

"Buzz, buzz," Izy laughed, floating away, prodding every one of the house as she moved down the line, her spoon digging into each one. "Buzz, buzz, buzz!"

'That's a good one, Izy!" Ian grinned, fallowing his sister. Professor McGonagall caught them at the door.

"Hello, Professor!" they both said brightly.

"Hello, Mr. and Miss Jacobs," she scowled at them. "We have a new addition to your punishment this time, you two."

"Punishment?" Ian cocked his head to the side.

"What did we do?" Izy copied him.

"You will be starting a list this time, of everything you are not allowed to do anymore." McGonagall said, still scowling. "Starting with this, Hufflepuffs are not to be poked with spoons, and their colors don't have anything to do with bees."

"Okay, we'll get strait to work on that list professor!" they cheered scampering off quickly to their rooms.

"You two will also be serving detention with Professor Sprout for three weeks!" she yelled after them, shaking her head in disgust and stalking back to the staff table.

… … … )()( … … …

_Oh yeah, first thing goes to the wonderful Izy. And if you didn't catch that, both Ian and Izy have dark golden brown hair. Ian's hair is cut to a longish style, strait an shaggy, in his eyes sometimes, but usually flipped back from his face, and Izy's is shoulder length, layered and parted to the side so its constantly being pushed back from her face. Both of them have really dark green eyes, Ian's have a little more brown in them the Izy's but both mostly green…anything else, if you get confused that is, don't hesitate to ask!_

_Loves and Hugs from your sweet and insane Jakki!_


	3. Ian as the Skewrt Hunter

_2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures Class._

… … …)()( … … …

"So what are we planning for today, Nii-chan?" Izy asked as they waltzed down to their first class of the day, Care for Magical Creatures. She liked to use the Japanese term for 'big brother' when she talked to Ian. He made fun of her a lot for it, but he liked that it was just one more thing they had in common; their love of other cultures.

"I got a surprise for Hagrid, I think he'll find it funny, personally… or maybe he won't get it." Ian sighed, cracking his knuckled and clearing his throat. "Sadly I think only the muggle-borns will get this joke."

"Oh," she thought about it a second. He was going to do an impression f a muggle celebrity. "Okay, I'll laugh extra loud for you."

"Good, I hope were working with something fun." His grin was malicious as they gathered with the rest of the class by Hagrid's little shack.

… … … )()( … … …

"All right, so we're here on the grounds at Hogwarts studying a strange new species," Ian said, trying out his very convincing Australian accent. "These little things here are called Blast-Ended Skewrts. Now, we still don't know how to tell the blokes apart from the sheilas but aren't the gorgeous?"

Izy broke out laughing, falling forward holding her knees for balance as she tried to stop laughing long enough to get a breath. Everyone stared at them, and a few giggled a little. One kid grinned and tried out his own clumsy accent by saying, "danger, danger, danger," shaking his head.

One Skewrt's back end blew up and the little thing flew forward a few feet.

"Whoa! Did you see that!" Ian's accented voice shot up with excitement. "It seems we've found the attack or defense of these little buggers!"

"They're right beau'ful, ain't they?" Hagrid beamed from over Ian's shoulder.

"Gorgeous, just gorgeous!" Ian still held his accent. Izy fell over gasping for air as she giggled uncontrollable. Ian quickly jumped over to her. "It seems that this here sheila has fainted, the beautiful creatures must be too much for her."

Izy laughed harder, and more students started laughing at the two of them again. Ian kept making outrageous exclamations about the strange little things, acting more and more stupid as they lesson went on. Hagrid was excited at first that all the students were enjoying themselves, but soon got irritated as Ian kept distracting everyone.

"Ian, wat do ye think yer doin' this time?" he finally growled.

"I'm not Ian," he still faked the accent, he was milking it for all he could, and Izy didn't stop laughing once. Her face was bright red and she was clutching her stomach as her sides started to ache. "I'm Steve Irwin, the croc hunter."

Everyone broke out laughing hysterically, worse than before. Tears streamed down Izy's face as she struggled to breath, laughing silently.

"Well, _Steve Irwin_," Hagrid said irately. "Ye got yerself a month detention wi' me now."

"Aw, so now we got another thing to add to the list." Ian went back to speaking normal, looking down at Izy who was finally regaining her grasp on air. "Sorry, Izy."

"S'okay," she gasped. "This was way worth it, Stevie."

He laughed.

… … … )()( … … …

_This one was a little controversial to write I think, because of what happened to Steve Irwin. Honestly, I'm not one of those people who think he was stupid and he deserved it, but it was on the list and the opportunity was just too funny to pass up. This will be dedicated to Steve Irwin's memory, I kinda feel a little bad about making fun of him._

_Anyway, hoped you enjoyed Ian's first prank! Loves and Hugs from the insane Jakki!_


	4. Izy's Extra Credit Project

_3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not 'an extra credit project for Herbology'._

Izy paced back and forth in her room. She was failing over half of her classes and she needed to find ways to make up the points she was missing…but how?

Herbology… it sounded easy, that'd be the best place to start. She'd just have to grow something, some kind of plants that could do something cool. Was it possible to make a flower that could spit fire? Or a tree that could sing when the leaves rustled in the wind?

No. Something better, there were a lot of plants that could do cool things. She'd just have to pick one. But which? It's have to be something easy, something that even a Muggle could grow. What plant? What plant?

Thank then inspiration struck. The perfect plant, two of them actually. Izy jumped up and down, finally she found something even _she_ couldn't screw up!

"What are you doing, Iz? Trying to break through the floor?" Ian laughed as he walked through her room, pulling a book off her shelf.

"I just found out how to pass Herbology!" She cried.

"How?" he asked quickly. "I'm failing too, can I help?"

"No, you cannot! This is my extra credit project and I worked very hard on thinking this up." She crossed her arms. "_You_ have to come up with your own way to pass. Now get out so I can start working!"

… … … )()( … … …

Izy walked into Herbology with her finished project hidden in her bulging book bag. She grinned widely as she followed her brother in. she walked right up to Professor Sprout and plopped the bag down in front of her.

"I've found out how to get back the points I'm missing, Professor!" She announced.

"Really? It's not going to kill me, is it?" Professor Sprout asked warily, eyeing the bag with extreme caution.

"No, and I grew it all by myself!" Izy grinned widely, throwing open her bag to show off her hard work.

"What is this?" the professor asked, picking up a leaf that sat on top of the rest, not in a bag like the rest.

"It's marijuana! I grew it myself." Izy proclaimed proudly, digging out a bag of what looked like shriveled and dried animal droppings. "And these are mushrooms, they make you hallucinate, they're really cool! Do you wanna see?"

"No, I most certainly do not!" the professor cried quickly before anything got out of hand.

But Izy was already passing out her project and instructing the other students on how to make everything work right. In less time than anyone would have imagined the whole class was doing and saying stupid things. Ian knew better than to trust anything Izy did or said to do to the other students. And Izy didn't feel like tripping out when she had so many other classes she had to find extra credit projects for.

"Miss Jacobs, I believe you'll be serving two more weeks detention with me for this little stunt." Professor Sprout sighed, trying not to get too angry in case it upset the plants.

"Does that mean this doesn't count of extra credit?" Izy asked sadly as one student floated by giggling insanely as he was propelled by another student's Hoover Charm.

"Yes, no extra credit, and another thing to add to you little list." The professor sighed, now leave before anything else happens and fetch me Madam Pompfry to fix these students up."

"Okay, okay, come on, Ian, let's go get the nurse." Izy looked downhearted, her brother was laughing as she dragged him out after her.

… … … )()( … … …

I have never done any drugs so I really don't know how anything would work. Seriously, I'm quite clueless when it comes down to drugs and everything…but yeah, it was fun to write this, and it's just fun to get Ian and Izy into trouble.

_Oh, and here's some trivia for you. When I first came up with this idea it was just going to be Ian, and his surname was Callum…but then Izy popped up and I added her, plus I can't use the name Ian Callum. If you know cars, and if you've ever heard of the Aston Martin models, then well you'd know about the friggin' awesome V12 Vanquish! God, I love that car! Anyway, Ian Callum is the name of the man who did most of designing so I couldn't use that name…I wasn't thinking when I came up with that. But that tells how much I'm obsessed with this car if subconsciously naming characters after the people who worked on it!_

_Well see you next time! Loves and Hugs, the Insane Jakki K!_


	5. Paralized Thanks to Ian

_4. I will not convince first years that the password to Gryffindor Tower is 'Perificus Totallus' and must be said while pointing their wand at themselves._

… … … )()( … … …

Ian chuckled as he left his and Izy's combined sitting room. Izy looked up from her book and cocked her head sideways.

"What are you doing now, Nii-chan?" she asked, not moving.

"I'm gonna go mess with some first years…I don't know which house I wanna hit though." He replied, still chuckling.

"Go for the Gryffindors, we haven't hit them up in a while." Izy said, turning back to her book. "Tell me how it goes."

"Will do, little sister!" he winked and left.

… … … )()( … … …

"Okay, so you know they changed the password to get in, right?" Ian told a group of little first year students as he blocked their entrance to the Fat Lady's portrait.

"They did not." One loud girl said. "One of the prefects would have told us."

"They sent me to tell you as you came up here to go in." he said seriously.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, one hundred and ten percent." His face was somber and made it hard to deny that his words were true. "You have to point your wands at your self—"

"We never had to use our wands before." The loud-mouthed girl interrupted.

"You do now, so listen up, okay, kitten?" he snapped.

"My name's Annie, not kitten," she closed her eyes and stuck her nose up in the air.

"Okay, so you point your wands at your self and say _Perificus Totallus_, okay?" the first years nodded, even stubborn little Annie. "Okay, then, don't forget, I gotta go!"

Ian took off whistling and grinning.

… … … )()( … … …

"Ian Jacobs!" Professor McGonagall growled, furiously stalking after the dark haired boy.

"Professor, it's lovely to see you," Ian smiled sweetly at her.

"Oh, you're not getting off that easy, Jacob, you have another thing to add to your list, boy." She said sternly, waving her finger in his face. "Detention, one month, with me."

… … … )()( … … …

"I guess we're adding another thing to the list, Izy," Ian grinned as he returned to the sitting room. Izy was still reading her book.

"What did you do?"

"Told the first years that the new pass word was the Full-Body Bind and they had to point their wands at themselves."

"Good one, I like that." Izy giggled, putting a bookmark in her book, and setting it down. "I should go, I have a detention appointment."

… … … )()( … … …

_I'm updating fast, wow! I haven't had this much motivation for writing in so long. There's a few of these I really wanna get to though. Izy has some really good ones that I just wanna do right now, but I'm going down my list, not skipping any. Hope you don't mind that these are all kinda short .I usually write longer things._

_See you in the next chapter! Loves and Hugs from the insane write, Jakki, double if you leave a review!_


	6. Izy's Poster for Filch

_5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate._

… … ... )()( … … …

Izy hummed to herself, laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling trying to come up with something entertaining to do that wouldn't get her into too much trouble. Listening to her Magic Music Player set to an American muggle radio station bobbing her head in time to the music, eventually giving up on humming and singing along with the song.

"You sound like an idiot, Izy," Ian laughed at her from a chair in the corner, throwing stolen pennies down at students as they walked by. "Since when have you been into that rap-crap?"

"I donno, but that song is just addicting. I never knew rap could be entertaining." She said, unplugging the headphones as they song switched so he could hear it too.

"It's certainly better than Doug Henning's magic skills." He said, chucking a penny at full force to a fourth-year below him.

"Doug Henning? Who's he?" she sat up, trying to rack her brain for any knowledge of the name.

"Some Canadian _illusionist_…don't ask me how I know this." His foot started tapping into to the music.

A brilliant idea hit her then, her emerald green eyes swelled to enormous size and she gasped at the simplicity of it. "You wouldn't happen to have a poster of him, would you?"

"Yeah, I was going to charm it to perform tricks and give it to some first year for an extra credit project." He raised one of his eyebrows at her, confused. "Why?"

"Can I have it?" she asked, grinning. "Or borrow it, I mean,"

"Sure, but right now it doesn't do more than little slight-of-hand tricks." He shrugged.

"Perfect!" she cried. "Gimme, gimme!"

"Okay…" Ian tried not to look too confused as he got up and she bounced after him to his room.

… … … )()( … … …

"But, Professor, I thought it would help him gain confidence!" Izy protested as Professor Snap lead her through the corridors to his office.

"You very well did not, Miss Jacobs, and now you'll be serving detention with me for a month." The potion master growled at her, dragging her by her arm. "You know very well that was an inappropriate thing to do."

"So Doug Henning isn't going to be an inspiration to Filch?" she sighed, hanging her head in false shame. She had become quite a good actress in her time at Hogwarts, maybe getting in trouble had it's advantages. "I so thought he would."

"No, you didn't, you can stop with that act now, it wouldn't lessen anything up." Snape glowered at her, she looked sheepishly at him.

"Putting a Doug Henning poster in Filch's office, inappropriate, got it, it'll go on the list as soon as I get up to my room." She said slowly, almost like she was sorry to hear it. "Can I at least get the poster back, it's my brother's?"

"No, it will be burned, and if any more images of that man appear here, you and your brother will be getting more detentions." Snape said smugly. "And I let Filch take care of it from here on."

"Aw, okay," she sighed, and obediently followed like a good girl, sneaking a wink at Ian as she and Snape passed him. He winked back and mouthed _tell me later_ before she disappeared from view, still in Snape's death grip.

… … … )()( … … …

_Totally didn't know who Doug Henning was, I had to look it up. I should have known it was some kind of magician dude, it only makes sense. I donno if he's dead or not, I only looked to see who the hell he was. Now I know, and I love it! Filch, poor Filch, no one loves him. Tehehe, it's just fun to make fun of him!_

_Anyway, thanks for the reviews, keep it up! Love from the crazy chick, Jakki!_


	7. Ian's Class Adventure

_6. I will not go to class skyclad._

… … … )()( … … …

"Ian, we're going to be late to class if you don't hurry up." Izy banged on the bathroom door loudly, yelling at her brother.

"Go ahead with out me, I'm planning a big entrance…I have to walk in late!" he called back, she could hear the huge grin on his face. She shook her head and left without another word.

Grumbling as she walked down the nearly deserted halls, she walked to class rather annoyed with her brother. Since when had he ever kept something from her that was going to be a big plan? It annoyed her. Stupid brothers, stupid plans, stupid class. She lost herself in the stupidity of everything as she sat down at her desk by herself, a little late for class but just barely. The professor blew it off, and ignored her.

"Alright, already, I'm here!" Ian suddenly announced as he waltzed into class like he was the center of the universe. Izy's jaw dropped when she saw him and she quickly turned away.

"Nice, Ian, but you could have given me some warning! Gross!" she yelled at him as she stared down at her paper. "Really didn't have to see that."

"Oh, Izy, it's perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with it, is there, Professor?" he turned to the teacher and grinned.

"Mr. Jacobs, please, cover yourself up! We have a uniform for a reason, and that's to be worn." Flitwick sputtered over his words, trying to distract the students from Ian's naked body, which just so happened to be posed in the front of the room.

"There's nothing wrong with being skyclad," Ian whined. "Everyone use to run around like this at one point in time, and there's places in the world where they still do!"

"Yes, but a school is not the place, now leave and get dressed." Flitwick sighed, dropping his head in indignity. "You now have detention with me for two weeks. And I want you to come fully clothed."

Ian sighed and left the room looking rather dejected. Struck with a sudden urge, Izy started to clap for her brother. The rest of the class joined in slowly, and she whistled on last time before he was gone.

"Miss Izadora, I believe I'll be seeing you in detention with him now for one of those weeks." The professor announced with his face going slightly pink with anger.

"Fine, but can't you call me Izy like everyone else? Izadora makes me sound like a preppy little know it all." She huffed, crossing her arms as she sat back down. A few students giggled a little for her.

"Do you want to go for both weeks?"

"What'd I do?" Izy cried, throwing her hands up and sitting up strait in her chair. "All I did was ask you to call me Izy!"

"Please, don't test me right now." Flitwick sighed, shaking her head.

"Fine," she growled to herself, crossing her arms again and glaring down at her desk. Stupid Charms class, stupid professors, stupid detention, stupid; the stupidity of the world took her under again, she didn't even look up when Ian came back, fully clothed in the school uniform and sat down next to her grinning.

"That's one more for the list," he whispered to her as Professor Flitwick started to explain the lesson.

… … … )()( … … …

_Okay, so I kinda figured 'skyclad' meant naked, but I had to look it up just in case. And hey, I was right! But yeah, that's classic Ian for you. Has to be the attention grabber. The only reason he waited to walk into class late is so he wouldn't be caught by any teachers in the hall, ad so the whole class would be there when he walked in. Pretty smart, huh? Yeah, yeah, all you fangirls know you liked that you got he excuse to imagine Ian naked…he's hot, I know it! After all, would a really create a character for this kind of thing that would be ugly? NO! Are you kidding, if I'm making a dud who's going to go naked somewhere as a prank you know he's going to be the sexiest damn thing I can think up!_

_Anyway, thanks for reading; keep reviewing! Lovies from the insane chick, before I get locked in a padded room again, Jakki!!_


	8. Izy's Yule Ball Date

_7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date for the Yule Ball._

… … … )()( … … …

"Hey, Izy, wait up!" a sixth year Ravenclaw boy jogged to catch up quickly to the escaping brunette.

"Yep?" she stopped and turned to look at him, what was his name again? Jordan or Mike or something? She couldn't remember. "Do you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to ask you something." He looked down, trying not to meet her eyes. "Er, do you…well, are you going… er… doyouhaveadatetotheYuleBale?"

she laughed at his attempt to ask her his question. "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you. Did you say something about the Yule Ball?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you had a date yet." He blushed scarlet, looking up at her then away again.

"Oh, no I don't, me and Ian were going to go together if we couldn't get dates." She giggled, flipping her hair as she flirted purposefully obvious. "Ian was going to try and get one of the Slytherin girls to go with him. He said they were the best dancers."

"Oh, well, would you like to go with me?" the boy asked.

"Are you asking me out, Dylan?" She giggled, finally remembering his name.

"Well, only if you want me to," he said lamely.

"I'd have to see if Ian has a date yet or not. I can't leave him to go on his own." She nibbled a fingernail to look like she really didn't want to say no, but she had to. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no big deal, " he smiled, finally able to look back up at her. "Let me know if you can or not."

"I will," she promised, and smiled at him brightly as she turned and left him. Skipping off to her room.

… … … )()( … … …

"Do ya got a date yet, Izy?" Ian asked, paging through an old magazine without looking at the pages.

"Not officially, but I've had like four guys ask me." Izy giggled, pulling out her green-blue dress robes. Holding them up to herself, she skipped around with the thin fabric floating around her. "It was kinda funny."

"Yeah, I've had a few girls hinting for me to ask them too." Ian laughed. "You look like a sea monster in that, you should do with the Giant Squid."

She grinned, suddenly, struck by a thought.

… … … )()( … … …

"Miss Jacobs, why are you down here, don't you want to go in and dance?" Professor Dumbledore asked, hurrying past the lake in a rush to get back up to the castle.

"Oh, but I can't leave my date, headmaster, it wouldn't be polite." Izy replied, looking into the lake like she was thinking about something.

"Really? And who is the young man?" he asked her kindly, looking around for some sign of another student.

"He's not a young man," she said indignity. "My date is the Giant Squid, so you see, it would be impolite for me to leave to go in if he can't come with."

"My dear, be serious, who's your date to the ball?" Dumbledore laughed.

"I am being serious!" she sniffed, tears forming in her eyes.

"Well, the Giant Squid, I'm sure, is flattered, dear, but I don't think that'd considered an appropriate date." Dumbledore laughed at her again.

"Fine then!" she cried, wiping her eyes angrily and storming up to the castle. "I'll add it to the list!"

… … … )()( … … …

_Okay, okay, I though that was quite fun to write, and no Izy wasn't really crying, it's all fake. She ended up going back up tot he castle and dancing with all the guys who had originally asked her. She ended up getting in trouble for inappropriate dancing as well, and got detention for that…after all, what's a party for the Jacobs if no one gets in trouble! If you know anything about me, you'll know I like to grind when I'm dancing…all my characters do too, so they tend to end up in trouble for that. Tehehe, it makes it more fun!_

_Don't forget to review and keep reading! Loves from the crazy, Jakki!_


	9. Ian is Hardcore!

_8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore'._

… … … )()( … … …

"Izy, are you sure you're okay?" Ian asked, watching her carefully as she sucked on the cut on her finger.

"Yeah, I'm sure, it was just a little cut, it'll be fine in no time, I promise," she laughed, looking at her finger and squeezing some blood out of the cut before sucking on it again.

"You shouldn't do that, you're going to bleed to death or something," he scolded; they were walking up from the dungeons to their next class after Izy accidentally nipped her finger while cutting up ingredients.

"I seriously doubt that, besides, it's almost done bleeding," she giggled, squeezing it again, less blood oozed out this time.

"Oh, look, Ian's really just a big softie," a passing Slytherin boy elbowed his buddy in the ribs.

"Aw, well, isn't that cute." The other laughed.

"Shove it," Ian growled at the boys. "I'm not a softie. I'm hardcore, ya asshole!"

"Sure you are, all worried over a tiny cut your little sister isn't even bothered about." The second boy agreed walking off, still laughing.

"Get back here and I'll show you!" Ian growled after them, they only laughed harder.

"Oh, chill, Ian, they're just yanking your chain, it's not big deal." Izy sighed, sighing as she looked at her finger one last time before dropping it to her side. Ian growled again and tried to ignore the boys' parting jibes as they disappeared in the opposite direction.

… … … )()( … … …

Someone cleared their throat loudly behind Ian as he wrote the same sentence over and over again on a sheet of paper. Ian glared around at Professor Umbridge as she watched him with scrutinizing eyes.

"What?" he finally asked when she didn't say anything.

"What are you doing, Mr. Jacobs? And where did you get my quill?" she asked sweetly, holding out her chubby hand as if he were going to hand it to her.

"I'm proving myself." he said sternly and wrote another line. The words _I told you I was hardcore_ already carved deep into the back of his hand.

"That's not what this pen is for," she said, snatching the quill from him before he could start on another line. "If you're craving punishment this much, then I'll see you in my office tonigh, you have a weeks detention with me. "

"Good, what else am I carving into my hand?" he asked glowering at her as she stalked away proudly.

"Oh, no, Mr. Jacobs, I have another punishment for you." She said sweetly. "And don't think I don't know about your list. I should say this should be added to it.

… … … )()( … … …

"Aw, Nii-chan, you're so macho it's not even funny, you know they were just teasing you a little, nothing huge." Izy laughed at him as he picked at the scabs that were forming over the words on his hand.

"Yeah, but if I keep doing this, then I'll get some pretty sweet scars. I wish Umbridge hadn't taken the quill away." He grumbled, and she laughed at him again.

"Then, I'll be writing this one down, no need for you to have a rule written on yourself along with the reason why." She giggled, tacking the list back up onto the wall after she had put the new addition on. "We've got quite a few already, I wonder what else we can do wrong this year."

"Oh, we'll have a hell of a lot more than just this, I just know it."

… … … )()( … … …

_I should have added this earlier today but I got distracted by _Fruits Basket_ and quit to watch the first 15 or 16 episodes. Sorry! But yeah, this is going to be it for a while…I'm going out of town this weekend so I don't know if I'll have the internet to hook my laptop onto so if I don't up date for a while it's because of that. At the very latest you should have a new reason or two by Sunday night or Monday afternoon. I promise!_

_Until then, keep reviewing, enough of you know the list by now, I'll let you vote for which reason you wanna see next and I'll do it sooner. Loves as always, the insane Jakki…can I take the straitjacket off yet? It's hard to type with my head…please?_


	10. Lucky or in Need of Sympathy?

_9. I will stop referring to showering as 'giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful'._

… … … )()( … … …

"Excuse me, but do you know where my brother went?" Izy asked a seventh year Ravenclaw boy as she passed by him in the hall.

The boy laughed a little, causing her to raise an eyebrow at him. "He said he was going to go give Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

She cocked her head to the side. "Moaning Myrtle an eyeful? I don't ge—" she cut herself off mid sentence. "Oh, I get it. Thanks, Dave!"

He nodded and kept walking, an amused grin on his face. Izy shook her head, giggling quietly to herself. She'd have to tell her brother she liked the new code word.

… … … )()( … … …

The next evening at dinner, while Izy and Ian sat with the Slytherins, a few f them laughing at one of Ian's storied, Izy leaned over and asked the question she was dying to know.

"So how did you come up with that shower code?" she asked, shoving mashed potatoes into her mouth in a very unladylike fashion. A few of the other girls looked disgusted, daintily eating in tiny bites as if they were setting an example.

"You mean the thing with Moaning Myrtle?" he asked, she nodded, another enormous bite kept her from speaking. "She popped out of the drain when I was showering one day. Her eyes got so big! It was hilarious. She just started for like twenty seconds. So I smiled at her and said 'get an eyeful there?' She disappeared so fast."

"So now you're calling it 'giving her an eyeful' as a joke?" she asked, gulping down a glass of pumpkin juice so fast the boys looked at her like she was the answer to their prayers. "I like it."

"Yup, and I think I'll have to go down again tonight. I hate the rain, it makes everything so slippery." He sighed, a smudge of dry mud smeared across his cheek.

"Poor Myrtle, like she really needs that." She laughed.

"Poor Myrtle!" Ian laughed. "She's getting an eyeful tonight; she's lucky as hell to get that kind of prize!"

"Ian Jacobs, that's detention with me tomorrow night." Professor McGonagall crowed as she passed by, a few of the Slytherin girls were returning their attention to their plates. They all had blushed that Izy could tell meant they agreed with Ian. Lucky Myrtle, indeed.

"For what?" he cried outraged. "What's I do?"

"Change your slang to something more appropriate. If I hear that term from you again, we'll be meeting more often." She didn't turn as she continued on.

"Promise, professor?" Ian purred, a few girls blushed even more.

"On second thought, I'll leave you with Professor Binns."

Ian grinned at Izy, who grinned back through another mouthful of food. She flashed him a thumb's up in her way of saying _nice one_.

… … … )()( … … …

_Yeah, you were probably hoping to get more to that, but some of these are just a little too bazaar to get too in detail. Besides, after a point, some teachers will just wanna crack down on Ian and Izy just for the sake that they're completely annoyed at these crazy siblings. And if you have any questions about anything, don't hesitate to ask! Like TheTrioLivesOn, my good old superfan!! Go ahead and ask her is you want, I love talking to my reviewers, sometimes, I even answer your questions with one of your favorite characters. I use to do it a lot but it may be a bit harder on this. Ian and Izy are harder to get a hold of then Roz, Jeza, Caleb, and Alex were. __(My parents made me go to church over the weekend, I'm still traumatized; God raped my creative mind. I'm still trying to recover my storylines and characters. ((sniff, sniff, tear)) I'll be okay, eventually)_

_Anyways, much love as always, I hope you're not over thinking anything ((wink wink, I love you, Trio!)) 'cause this is just me being stupid and mindlessly inspired. So again, loves and hugs from the wickedly insane fan fiction artist; Jakki K! _


	11. A Double Meaning

_10. Polishing my wand in the Common Room is acceptable. 'Polishing my wand' in the Common Room is not._

... … … )()( … … …

"Ian! Gross!" Izy screamed, running out of the siblings' shared common room. "God! Go to your fucking room if you're going to do that!"

"Excuse me, Miss Jacobs, is there a problem?" Professor Sinistra asked as she walked by the brunette as she backed out.

"Oh, no, Professor, no problem at all!" Izy said, a little too quickly. Her face turning bright red as she spun around and backed against the wall.

"What was your brother doing that was so gross, may I ask?" the astronomy professor looked suspicious.

"Oh, nothing, you know boys, it wasn't a big deal." Izy tried to laugh, it sounded high pitched and hysterical. It was unlikely that she was so bad at covering up something, she normal was a very good actress and lying came easier to her than the truth sometimes. But she had been caught off guard, still disgusted at her brother as well as flustered by being caught so quickly by a teacher as she tried to escape. She took the first thing that popped into her head; it proved to make a pretty lame story. "He was just…picking his nose. I hate it, it's absolutely appalling."

"And this bothers you enough that you have to bolt out of the room?" Sinistra raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I just can't stand it. It's like a phobia or something," Izy shrugged, trying to regain her usual composure.

"Well, then, why would Ian do this in front of you? Being that he's your brother, I would think he wouldn't do it in front of you." She stared at the door behind Izy like she could use x-ray vision to look through the heavy wood. "Perhaps I should speak to him."

"No!" Izy quickly jumped in front of the door, blocking it off. "I mean, no, that's okay, I'll just yell at him later."

"If you're sure then. But I still would like to talk to him; I have to discuss his last essay with him." The professor coolly pushed by Izy, careful authority and pure curiosity dragging her forward.

"I'll let him know you want to talk to him," Izy tried to keep the door between her and her brother.

"I'd rather talk to him now if you don't mind," Sinistra pushed past the girl and the door flew open with more force then was initially intended.

"Ian Jacobs! What in Merlin's Beard are you doing!" she shrieked as Izy quickly spun around, so she wouldn't be confronted with the sight again.

"I was just…" Ian quickly thought up the best alternative he could. He quickly grabbed his wand out of his robes and held it up, pulling the cloth quickly to cover himself. "Polishing my wand."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure, but I'm pretty sure that's not allowed!" poor Professor Sinistra's eyes were bulging as she also turned ad faced a wall that didn't allow Ian into her line of sight. She was caught off guard and tried to keep her voice easy to disguise that her face was as bright red as Izy's was. "I won't be assigning you a detention, but know that this is strictly forbidden. I think it will be punishment enough to have to have me tell you this, but next time, you'll be talking to the headmaster about it."

"Yes, professor," Ian said sheepishly, shrinking against the couch in a little ball, Izy took the opportunity to run to her room and privately burn the image out of her head. It would take years of therapy to clear out that kind of trauma.

… … … )()( … … …

_Okay, no offense to Izy, I love her and all, but I wouldn't mind walking in on Ian like that. And don't you dare judge me; I know that at least some of you wouldn't mind it either! Also, I know this is the third of Ian's in a row, and no I'm not playing favorites, it's just well, the last three worked better for Ian than they did for Izy. But they both have an even number of pranks; there will be a point when we will see three Izy pranks right in a row. Anyway, thanks for keeping up. But just one thing before I let you go; I'm going to be done with writing more than one chapter a day just because of inspiration. I will still be putting up at least one chapter a day anyway, but if you want two, I need five, count 'em, five reviews before the second one comes up the same day, and, you guessed it, TEN if you want a third! I know that probably sounds mean, but hey, I'm writing these as fast as I can, and working really hard on making these just perfect, I think I deserve a little incentive for doing so much for you!_

_But still, I love you, and I'll keep writing no matter what! Loves and hugs from your crazy, insane, yet loveable writer here, the one any only Bubbles; Jakki K!_


	12. The Class Artist

_11. If a classmate falls asleep I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm._

… … … )()( … … …

As usual, History of Magic was boring, dull, and all around the kind of thing that could put you to sleep if you didn't have the skill to entertain yourself with other things outside the lesson. Entertainment; that's what Izy and Ian felt they specialized in. the professors just found it to be troublemaking, but for the students (not on the wrong end of the joke) it was entertainment, pure and simple.

But being on the wrong end of the joke did have its drawbacks, and some students had started to not trust the Jacobs siblings to the point that they wouldn't sit next tot them in classes anymore. Ian and Izy weren't allowed to sit together in class either, so the other students were forced to swallow their better judgement and sit next to them.

History of Magic was defiantly not the class you'd want to sit next to either one of them. And if you were the kind of person that could easily drift off to sleep in the boring class, it was even worse, as one poor classmate did.

Izy poked him once, gently in the arm, as it was draped over the table with a lazy lack of grace. The boy didn't stir, she flicked a look up at her brother. Ian nodded minutely and smiled very faintly. She smiled back, wicked and plotting as she was, the smile was more like a malevolent smirk.

She took out her bottle of permanent green ink from her bag and opened it as quietly as she could. Not that it would matter much, no one would notice what she was doing until the deed was finished. Being a rather gifted artist, she started drawing on the boy's upturned forearm. He twitched once or twice but otherwise didn't move or wake up. She re-capped her inkbottle and returned it to her bag when she was done. Pleased with her work she blew on it gently to help the ink dry. She hoped the cool breeze her breath caused wouldn't make the boy subconsciously rub his arm and smudge her picture.

The bell rung to signal the end of class and the boy jolted awake, not noticing his new tattoo at first. Izy giggled as she passed him on the way out of class and Ian smirked, patting him on the back.

"You did a brave thing, showing that off. I hope your time in Azkaban is worth it." He said, slightly shaking his head like he didn't think it was brave, just merely stupid.

"What?" the boy asked, checking his clothing first then moving over his arm. "Holy— when did I get this?"

Izy laughed outright as he started rubbing furiously at the new Dark Mark on his arm.

"I never knew you were a Death Eater, I though they only recruited people who were out of school. You must be good to get in now," she managed to say through fits of hysteria.

"I should have guessed it wasn't safe to sit next to you." He grumbled, yanking down the sleeve of his robe and storming off. "You'd best hope I can get this off before anyone notices, Izy."

"Before anyone notices what?" Professor Snape in all his greasy glory suddenly spoke up from behind where the boy was standing.

"Oh nothing, professor, just a joke Izy was playing on me." The boy stumbled over his own lie. Ian and Izy both mentally shook their heads at the boy's amateur abilities.

"Then, if Miss Jacobs is involved, I'm afraid I must see," Snape sneered, roughly taking the arm the boy was trying to hide behind his back and shoved the sleeve back. His eyes bulged when he saw the Mark. "Detention, two weeks, my office, starting tonight."

"Aw, it's his own fault for falling asleep in class!" Izy whined, ineffectively but quite funny under the circumstance. "He should have known better than to get that close to me when I'm feeling artistic."

"Artistic? That's what you call this?" Snape glared at her with rising suspicion. "Another weeks detention. This goes too far. Come along, we'll have to get this cleaned off before anyone else sees Izadora's _art_."

… … … )()( … … …

_Sorry I'm late, I'm trying to prove to my parents I can be more responsible. I haven't been doing all that much homework lately, and I went way over my limit on my texting so I almost got my phone taken away. Not funny, 'cause I practically live on my phone sometimes…it's my major lifeline when I'm feeling depressed!_

_Anyway, I got five reviews yesterday, so you get two chapters today. As soon as this is posted, I'm starting work on the next chapter so don't worry. Don't forget, five more reviews if you want two chapters again tomorrow, and ten if you want three!_

_So as I try to be responsible, I'll see you in a little bit! Much love and admiration from your lovingly insane writer; Jakki!_


	13. The Buldger Salution

_12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers._

… … … )()( … … …

"I can't believe their making us find the run away Bludgers for Madam Hooch." Ian complained, kicking a stone in the path. "What a lame detention."

"Well, they're running out of ideas, and this is keeping us back from a Hogsmead weekend, so they must find it to be affective." Izy sighed, skipping ahead a little and spinning around like a ballerina.

"When are they going to learn that we're uncontrollable and very creative?" he laughed, amusing himself with his own words.

"Creative, huh?" evilly, she pulled her finger up to tap her chin. "I feel a creative strike coming on. How long till the next Quidditch match?"

"Another week, why?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Dammit! I lost it!" she cried suddenly, slapping her hand against her head. "I had a great idea and now I lost it! Oh, I can't believe myself!"

the clock chimed out the hour, almost one, and she still had another detention she had to serve today.

"I'll see you later, think up something good for me!" she spun around and ran up to the castle at a lazy jog.

"Sure, Iz, I'll see what I can some up with for you." He muttered to himself, continuing on his way down to the Forbidden Forest. More than likely, if he followed the tree line, something was bound to hit him…he hoped it'd be the missing Bludgers. "I can't believe you just forgot something that easy. I swear, sometimes, I don't even think you're really my sister."

He kicked at the grass a few more times, scattering severed grass blades in front of him. If only he wasn't too preoccupied he would have easily been able to find the missing Bludgers. It shouldn't be so hard, and he shouldn't have had to search for them by himself.

He sighed and started walking up to the castle as well, he had another detention in a half hour he would have to serve as well, might at well get to it. He was sulking through the corridors when something collided with his shins.

"so sorry, sir, didn't mean to bump into you, sir," a tiny house elf squeaked as he backed away and bowed to Ian. "Anythings I can do's for you, sir?"

"No, nothing, I'm fine," Ian sighed, about to turn and walk away when he was suddenly struck with an idea. "Wait, on second thought, how well do you like Quidditch?"

… … … )()( … … …

"But, he told me he'd love to play Quiddicth, why isn't this acceptable?" Ian debated with Madam Hooch as he had come to her with his idea.

"Mr. Jacobs, please think about things more clearly before you come to someone with your silly ideas." The flying instructor closed her eyes and shook her head. "I won't give you a detention or anything, but just know that this should belong on a list of some kind."

"Aright, already, you don't have to hint, I know what to do." Ian sighed, bowing his head and turning to take his lead.

"Don't forget to take your replacement and return it to where it belongs." She told him sharply. He sighed again and took the house elf with him back tot he kitchens.

… … … )()( … … …

_Yeah, that chapter kinda sucked, if I do say so myself. My creative vibes are still seem to not have returned yet to full swing. I apologize. I think my art fieldtrip tomorrow and this weekend should help me come up with some more ideas. I have my Sadie Hawkin's dance this Thursday and I can't wait! I've had two of my guy friends ask me now if I'm going to be going…and I know why they asked me, they're hoping to get the chance to dance with me, 'cause I'm apparently a very good dancer…tehehe!_

_Anyway, I also have a wedding this weekend that I have to go to, so I probably won't be updating Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday…I may have a chance on Friday, but it depends. We'll see..._

_And again, loves forever and always, and an Emmett-style bear hug to all of you, due to the crazy insane and lovely, Jakki!_


	14. Clever Money Making

_13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money making concept._

… … … )()( … … …

"I'm broke, this sucks," Izy grumbled, ruffling through the pockets of all her clothes, looking for any money she may have stuffed in them. "You haven't been stealing from me, have you?"

"Nope, I've been too busy with detention to go out and buy anything, so why would I steal from you?" Ian sighed, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. Outdoor detention in the middle of winter was an evil punishment indeed.

"Good point…but why am I broke then?" she wondered, scratching her head and collapsing on her bed. "I should have tons of money, after all, mum and dad keep sending us allowances and we never go anywhere to spend anything…"

"We were cut off last month, remember? Dumbledore sent home a letter about allt he trouble we've been getting in and we got cut off of all spending money until we _improved out behavior_."

"Oh, yeah," clever as she was to coming up with things to get her in trouble, she was quite ditzy when it came to other things. An evil genus was prone to having some flaw after all.

… … … )()( … … …

"Alright, so I got you down for three weeks till the end of the term," Izy said, writing down the students name and their willing bet. "Are you sure you want to do that? Remember, by signing this you're basically signing your soul away to me if you lose and don't pay up."

"Yeah, I'm good with it." He said, signing his name on the dotted line provided on the parchment. She nodded, and ripped off a piece of paper with the proper information he would need.

"Don't forget to pay up at the end of term when she's still here," she smiled sweetly, folding up her little black notebook and dropping it into the pocket of her robes.

"Pay up for what, Miss Jacobs?" Professor Sprout asked, looking suspicious as she crossed her arms.

"Nothing at all, just a little bet," Izy grinned, looking as innocent as Izadora Jacobs could ever try to.

"About what?" the Herbology professor asked, Izy's false innocence wasn't enough to convince any one of the teachers…ever.

"Nothing really," Izy sighed, brushing away some fly away strands of her dark hair.

"Give me the notebook, then." Reluctantly she handed it over. Reading over the cover with the sped only a teacher could ever accomplish. "Betting on how long the new professor lasts, are we? Do I even have to say it this time?"

"Say what?" she kept playing up at her innocent routine, it worked occasionally.

"Placing bets on teacher? Do you really think that's appropriate?"

"I suppose not, but I'm broke, and it sounded like a clever idea to me." She shrugged. "Detention, right?"

"You got that right, I'll see you tonight."

"Yes, professor."

… … … )()( … … …

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm soooo sorry!!! I was working on this last week, and my muse left me, and I couldn't think so I went to watch anime, got distracted, and then I was put under some crazy lock down and I finally was able to get back on the computer! Thank all gods and goddesses that exist I was able to get back!!! Advice; DON'T TEXT!! It'll only get you in trouble unless you have unlimited. I went _way_ over and got in so much trouble. And then I got distracted by this awesome anime I found…_Darker Then Black_ is awesome! I suggest if you don't mind reading subtitles you should watch it…it's in Japanese but it will be coming to the States in English… I just don't know when._

_Anyway, thanks for putting up with me!! I love you, and I'll write more soon, I promise! Love as always, from the overrun author, Jakki-chan…(no pun intended there…sorry)_


	15. Izy Loves Potions

_14. I will not start every potion class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant._

… … … )()( … … …

"I'm so sick of potions classes." Ian complained, shuffling his feet as they made their way down to the dungeons for, yes, you guessed it, potions class! "I don't see why we were required to take it."

"I know, same here, but I guess there can be some benefits to mixing potions." Izy grinned wickedly, raking her eyes over a few of the Ravenclaw boys who were walking by. "I have an idea for a bit o spicing up this class it well overdue for."

"Pun intended, I'm forced to assume?" he chose not to ask what she was planning, it wasn't like she was going to tell him anyway.

"Initially, no there wasn't an intended pun, but now that you mention it, I do rather think the pun is necessary." she smirked, skipping the last few steps to the dungeon doors before throwing them open grandly, and taking her usual seat, Ian close behind her. The unwelcome announcement of _The Prince and Princess of Misdeeds Have Arrived_ was not said, but heavily implied by just their actions alone.

Snape glared at them, just as any of the other teachers would have. He kept his 'cool' though, the best he could. They were after attention, obviously, and he wasn't going to sink to their level and draw his attention to their deeds unnecessarily. That's what they wanted, and the only students who got what they wanted in _his_ potion classes were the students from _his_ House.

"Class has started so if you'd all be quiet." He opened class with the usual giggling pre-class gossip ending tone. "Today's potion instructions and ingredients list is on the board, any questions before I let you delinquents lose?"

"I have a question, professor," Izy said sincerely with her hand in the air, Ian turned to give Snape his full attention. Reactions were always the best park of a prank, they were the make-or-break points.

"And what would that be, Miss Jacobs?" he was only grudgingly acknowledging her, if he didn't she would disrupt class until her question was answered.

"I was just wondering if today's project could be as a sexual lubricant." Her face stayed remarkable smooth, like she had only asked if she could barrow a spare set of scales. "I mean, well, have you tried it? Would it work well, or s it not even bothering to test out?"

Snape and a few other boys in the class turned delicate shades of pink and lowered their eyes to varying degrees. A few boys scooted around in their chairs to get a better view of the _glorious _Izy Jacobs.

"Miss Jacobs, that question is extremely inappropriate." Snape said in a quite clear voice, a faint trace of shaking betraying him.

"So you've never tried it, do you have any advice, going either way then?" Izy kept her face as strait as humanly possible…or maybe closer to Jacobs-ly possible, as the Jacobs could kept a strait face almost better than any human ever could.

"I would drop the subject right now, after all, you're only getting a mild detention at this point, and you're lucky you don't belong to any House right now or you'd be losing more points than you could ever hope to regain." Snape was slowly regaining his composure.

"Yes, sir," Izy sighed and got to work on the potion at hand. Quietly under the table, Ian gave her a high five, and a rousing round of applause followed her up to lunch. By the end of the meal, the whole student body of Hogwarts had heard (faster then the previous records for the spreading of Jacobs Sibling Pranks). Boys continued to pat her on the back for the rest of the week, discreetly hoping they could perhaps get a bit more. The girls, however, chose to take the teachers' side by shaking their heads disapprovingly and giving her glares and dirty looks.

… … … )()( … … …

_I honestly don't know why this one struck me as an Izy prank…I think it just had to do with her being a girl and having bring this up in Snape's class, 'cause you know Snape probably wasn't getting anything at this point… sorry, Snivelly! Anyway, I was stressing about this chapter, I thought it was going to be really really hard to write, but it was actually quite easy…I think Izy was whispering the play-by-play in my ear the whole time I was typing, that's why it was so easy._

_Anyway, I'm for sure not going to be able to do a whole ton of really fast updates anymore…it's December after all, and I really have to buckle down and start applying to colleges…UTI, here I come!! Any way, wish me luck in that, and maybe in a matter of a few years I'll be a published author!_

_Anyway, much love from the crazy author who just picked up a thing for calling everyone 'love' (thanks to a Alex-withdrawal)…Jakki!!_


	16. Spell d'Ian

_15. 'Liften Seperatus Crotchum' is not a real spell._

… … … )()( … … …

Starting to spread around a fake spell was like starting a rumor. The most bazaar and the dirtiest ones traveled the fastest. For a Jacobs that should have made the jobs easy, and under normal circumstances it would have been. But Ian was under some mental technical difficulties, he was crushing on a girl.

Girl and boys seemed to be the biggest problem for anyone of the opposite side to comprehend. Anything and everything they do seems to mean two completely different things; either they liked you, or they didn't. But that wasn't true; most of the time it just didn't mean anything. And it always hits the hardest when it's someone you like doing those things.

Ian was a normal boy, no matter how off he acted from the rest of them, and as for any boy, he liked a girl. To get her attention (which was highly unnecessary) he wanted to start a 'new spell' to circulate around the school.

"What do you think, Iz? Any brilliant ideas?" he asked.

"Yeah, get working on your homework," Izy growled, about once or twice a week, she would buckle down and do all the homework she hadn't been doing for the past days. On these nights, it was always best not to bother her.

"Aw, you and your homework!" he scowled, learning back and tipping his chair on the back two legs. "I swear sometimes you act too much like on of those ink-nosed Ravenclaws, or a goody-witch Gryffindor."

"Shove it and do your work, macho man! You haven't even started one assignment and we have over three rolls of parchment that need filling a piece!" she growled, scribbling out another four lines for her History of Magic essay.

Ian stuck out his tongue. She didn't see it, or really even know he did it, but she suspected and threw her shoe at him for safe measure. His didn't quite dodge it in time and it hit him on the shoulder instead of crashing into his face.

… … … )()( … … …

"Are you sure that's a real spell? It doesn't sound real." A few boys started chuckling; it certainly didn't sound anything like it was even remotely plausible.

"Yeah, I'm sure! Try it, it's awesome!" Ian sounded really enthusiastic, like he was trying to share something really cool.

"Okay, then, what was it again?" one boy asked, struggling to keep his face straight.

"Okay, so say _Liften Seperatus Crotchum_," Ian said, seriously. "I think you'll know where to point."

"Mr. Jacobs, do I even have to tell you that that's inappropriate?" Professor Vector sighed as she walked by. "I won't assign detention but I don't want to hear about you spreading anymore stupid fake spells. Understand?"

"Yes, professor," Ian sighed dramatically.

"Am I right in assuming this is one for the list?"

"Yes, professor," he thought for a second. "But do you mean I'm not allowed to spread spells, or just that my spell is fake?"

"Well stick to the fake spell for now," she muttered something but none of the boys heard what she said.

"Sorry guys," Ian shrugged and walked away in the opposite direction. _Damn, now I got nothing to do to impress her, _he kicked the corner of a wall as he turned.

… … … )()( … … …

_Yeah, I bet you were hoping for more…sorry…also, I wanna apologize, the last chapter was supposed to be up a few days ago but my compute was being retarded and wouldn't let me post it. Finally got it up after I switched to a laptop. But yeah, hope you think this wasn't too much of a let down…Ian's going to take on my kinda role for a bit, which would be liking a guy but having to deal with the complications of it all. I however know that my guy likes me back…I still don't know what to do though. If you have advice I'd love to hear it!_

_Sorry, I'm chattering on about my stupid 'relationship' and you really didn't care, I bet. Sorry, I tend to do that. I hate it…if I do it too much just yell at me! You know I'm actually reading the whole potter series from the beginning for the billionth time! New discovery; Ptolemy, one of the chocolate frog cards Ron's missing, is a real guy. He was an astronomer. Not kidding! Look it up if you don't believe me!_

_As always, loves for now and always from the crazy insane writer chicky…Jakki! _


	17. The Speical Tie

_70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform._

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"Merry Christmas!" Izy cried, running into the common room all decked out in Christmas spirit it would have been hard to look at her if you were any type of bah-humbug-ing Scrooge. She wore her uniform, of course, but she had charmed her hair with red and green streaks that flashed between the two. Real flashing miniaturized Christmas lights formed a halo around her head, and jingle bells served as festive (and noise) earrings. She used glittering green, red, and silver garland for necklaces, and for bracelets she had ribbons and more jingle bells. Her socks had a stripe each of red and green and sang Christmas carols whenever she walked, and her shoes had been decorated with green and red shoelaces. Her wand was even decorated in tinsel.

She spun around in front of Ian with a big grin on her face, all her garland, tinsel, ribbon, and lights swinging around her like she was the ghost of Christmas Cheer. Her socks provided theme music in the form of _We Wish You a Merry Christmas_ in a very garbled and annoying voice. "What do you think?"

"I think you look like you just got into a fight with a Christmas tree. Nice job, I think you'll be having to take that all off by the end of first period." Ian replied, crossing his arms over his chest, his robs hiding his uniform mostly from view.

"It's Christmas, Nii-chan, you should dress up and celebrate it!" she rocked back and forward on her feet, making her socks continue to sing their annoying little song. "Don't be a pain, at least ware some tinsel or something. Here, I got some extra..."

"No, you've got a lot extra, you look like an idiot," he scowled, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Come on, we're going to be late for class."

"Oh, Ian, you're being such a bore. Who shoved a stick up your ass?"

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"Oh, my," Professor Flitwick nearly fell off his neat little stack of books as he caught sight of the very spirited Izy. Ian was still sour and scowling.

"Do you like it, Professor?" Izy asked, swaying and admiring her hair. "I was up all last night looking up charms for singing socks and changing hair colors. I really hope they last all day, I forgot the spells already."

"Very nice, Miss Jacobs," he tried to smile but could hardly manage without laughing. "How come you didn't dress up, Mr. Jacobs?"

"I didn't know it was a requirement." Ian scowled as he sat down, keeping his robes tight around himself.

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"Izadora, I'm not sure if I approve of your overzealous holiday spirit. It's very distracting." Professor McGonagall sighed as Izy's socks broke into a song in the middle o the lesson.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I think I over did it on the charm. They're only supposed to sing when I walk.

"I see," the transfiguration teacher looked over her, trying to decide if it was really worth it to make her go change her socks when it was the last day before break. She decided against it and raked her eye over Ian quickly. "How come you're not as festive as your sister?"

"You know, if you one more person asks me that, I swear to god, I'm going to take one of the Christmas trees from the Great Hall and cram it down their throat!" Ian roared, jumping up from his seat and all the splendor of his hidden holiday tie was finally revealed.

"Oh, I love your tie, Nii-chan, I wish I would have thought of that." Izy pouted, shifting her legs back causing her socks to sing softly under her desk.

Professor McGonagall tried not to laugh at him. "I'm sure you know that you're not in proper uniform, Mr. Jacobs."

"What!" Ian cried. "Are you seriously going to tell me I'm going to get in trouble for wearing a tie when Izy looks like a Christmas tree!"

"You won't get in trouble,. Mr. Jacobs, calm down," McGonagall hid a smirk, and turned away quickly to go back to the front of class. "You won't be in trouble, just remember the uniform is in place for a reason, and even you must obey that."

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_Lame, I know, but Ian actually does have quite the Christmas spirit, you'll see in the next chapter, but he just felt a little shown up when he saw Izy and decided to just forget it. And I know this is like rule 70, but it's Christmas, I haven't up dated in a long time and I wanted to give y'all something special! I hope you like it…oh and don't ask me why Ian's so sour, I don't exactly know._

_Oh, and for those of you who don't read my profile, announcement time!!! I have my first boyfriend!! Yep, the guy I've been complaining about in all the little authors notes in the end is finally my boyfriend. I'm like super excited! And the big plus to this guy is that he's a huge Potter fan, just like me!! Can we say jackpot!_

_Anyway, hope you liked the chapter, and happy holidays, all! Thanks again from , of course, the crazy chick behind this, Jakki!!_


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